Emery: “Work hard until it hurts, poverty hurts a lot more!”

Emery’s story is one of those incredible tales of courage and overcoming in the midst of hardship that never seem to make it neither to newspapers headlines nor academic papers. What is more, Emery's journey opens a door to inspect a neglected dimension of conflict studies: Existential preoccupations, people's ideas of self-realisation and their projects of social becoming .

Emery was one of the very first people I met upon my arrival to Bukavu. Back then, he was working as a security guard in the neighbourhood where my white privilege forced me to stay: Muhumba, the old colonial post and the predominant residential area for those who lack melamine, and those who can afford to buy the status of lacking it. I guess everything passes but the past… but that is a topic that I am saving for another time.

Let’s get to it. The title of this Life Story, is not mine to claim, for it is Emery’s What’s Up status, and if anything, a great summary of his attitude towards life. During my stay in Bukavu I had the chance to conduct around 6 hours’ worth of life-story interview with him, and at the end of it I asked Emery what advice would he give to someone younger based on what he had learnt in life, to which he said:

“COURAGE, yes, I simply learned courage. I think that something that destiny, inheritance, has not given you… I have learned that courage can still answer to that need; This is all the advice I can give, to simply have the courage and to follow whatever you think in your head... just follow those ideas if you know you are dreaming of them, just follow; because for me, the success, let me tell you, are my study diplomas. It is a success for me because it's something that was not guaranteed, and it's something that its considered prestige and luxury. When you show up somewhere: I'm licensed, AaH really! everyone considers it, and you don't feel complexed... you see those people who have had the best chance of getting there because their family has many means, but have not flighted for it … AaH! So, I'll just give you my advice, which is to have courage, to work hard until it hurts, because I know life hurts more and more”

So, let me tell you a story of courage in the midst of hardship, a tale of determination and overcoming: the story of how Emery got his job, and how he is planning to get out of it. But before I do so, allow me to take you on a trip down Emery’s childhood memory line, for it contains a few elements that I think are key to understand warscapes and the people who live in them beyond the notion of conflict.

An ordinary childhood

Emery is originally from Idjwi an island situated in the Lake Kivu, about ten kilometres north from the coast of Bukavu and west from that of Rwanda. As many children in the DRC, Emery does not know his exact date of birth- but he had to come up with one to be able to inscribe in primary school… so in paper, he was born on the 23th of March 1992. Like most inhabitants of Idjwi, his parents were self-sufficient and dedicated their time to farming and fishing; as Emery rightly corrected me during our very first interview:

“My dad did not have structured work, I would not say that it was unemployment, because here we work, we cultivate the fields, we recollect, we eat, and we sell to have a little money depending of our needs, in Idjwi at the time everybody worked their own fields and the sea; it is not unemployment... if you say unemployment you want to bring a European concept that means paying a salary, that is a European term, so in your home there is unemployment, but here everybody works, you don’t know if you are unemployed or not….those who touched a bit of money in Idjwi where the teachers who received a salary of the state, the others.. each does his own thing”.

One of my very first interviews in Bukavu and a great slap to my own bias to start with. Thank you Emery.

Beyond being a natural paradise rich on agricultural products, Idjwi could be considered a peace heaven in Eastern Congo, for its enclaved position has allowed the island to be untouched directly by the armed conflict over the years. As such, Emery’s childhood was an ordinary one: he spent his days helping his parents collecting food and fishing, playing with footballs made of plastic bags and thick tree roots, cooking sweet potatoes under the soil, sliding down to the lake through trampolines made of banana trees with his friends, and going to school. His time in school was however short-lived; Emery did not like going to school because:

‘It was far, 45 minutes walking at the paste of an adult and the teachers beat the students- I did not appreciate that, so one day that there was meat in the house and my parents send me to class without giving me any, I decided to quit school… I lied and I said that they had kicked me out and I could not go longer go back.”

“Two years passed, and the people who I was with in class continued, so they were already in 3rd year, and it is then when I started to have shame due to my advanced age, and especially because I lacked people with whom spend the days; my friends where in school, so I decided to go to school out of my own initiative now…but I changed school… because I had shame, the people that I was together with in 1st year were already in 3rd, it was shameful, so I went to another school”

From then on, Emery was top of class during both primary and secondary school; good grades to which him attributed to the maturity that came along with his advanced age, and the fact that studying was now his own choice and not something that he just did. While Emery stressed how hard it was for his family to pay the three dollars fee required to attend school, he was particularly proud of being able to represent his family by doing so. Back then, knowing how to read and write in Idjwi was not only a big luxury ,but it also entitled social respect. Emery stressed how rare being literate was during his youth by telling me that during his childhood, schools did not even give homework to the students because the high illiteracy rate in the island made practically impossible for most parents to help out with them; hence making his good grades even more valuable- they were the product of his own hard work. Emery told me he has always felt very proud of being literate because it allowed him to help others when this set of skills was needed in his community:

“It made you feel special, it made you feel as having a value in society, and it gave you hopes of having a better future”.

By 2012 our protagonist had already finished secondary school, and with no hope of going to university due to the lack of means, or rather the self-sufficient life style of his environment, Emery spent his days working with his family. Back then, he recalls dreaming of being a priest or a teacher- not only the only two jobs in his village that would have allowed him to have a salary, but also the two positions that were considered of prestige within the island. As time passed by, Emery got tired of working the fields, and so, he started looking for other alternatives. Thanks to his literacy and language skills (due to Idjwi's strategic location and hence its role as a commercial hub, Emery could speak and write in five languages- French, Kiswahili, Kinyarwanda, Mashi and Kihavu- from an early age) he managed to score a job as the secretary of the local parish. As much as he enjoyed working within his Christian community, his days working at the parish started at 6.30 am before the morning mass, and finished around until 7 pm; all for 15 dollars a month- a sum he considered insignificant for a nine hours working shift… And so, Emery decided to expand his horizons in the hope of making a life for himself, and one worth living at that.

A very Particular internship:

“I started to look towards Bukavu to see if I could find another job, and there was a girl that studied in the same school than me… she knew how well I did in school, and as it is costume here, after hearing I had obtained my diploma she got in touch. In her house they had the means, and it was his brother who was the director of dignity and shame, where I currently work. When the girl heard that I had my school certificate she took pity of me and told me that her brother was the director of a security company, and that if I could succeed to come to Bukavu, she could try to convince his brother to integrate me in the company. So, I quitted the job at the Parrish and I came to Bukavu”.

Emery remembers with total clarity that he arrived to Bukavu on the 3th of October of 2012. He had only been on the mainland three times before to visit family members. This time around Emery was also staying at his uncle’s house, but he came to town with the hope of getting the job he had put his mind to. He continued:

“Now, it is not automatically that I integrated into dignity and shame, because, her brother did not wanted to listen to what she had to say, and consequently I did not get the job in dignity and shame. But, since I did not have anything else to do, I had to integrate in dignity and shame by force. I know the girl had done everything on her power to get me the job, and although the brother had categorically refused, I already knew the area where the office was; so I took the initiative to stay every day at the door… for 3 months, I arrived in October and I succeeded to work in Dignity and Shame in January 2013”

“I quitted the job at the Parrish without even getting paid, because I only worked there for three weeks and I came to Bukavu to look for D&S office. I knew the area but nor exactly where the office was, and me who I am a visitor and I did not know Bukavu- I looked for the place for a week, every day from 8 am until 12 am, i looked at every building. After a week , one good day, a Saturday, I remember perfectly! I was so tired, and I sited under a tree to rest because I was truly exhausted. And then, a man arrived in moto and made a phone call in which he mentioned something that slipped into my ears: ‘I am here outside D&S’, AaH! Now I knew that the office was among those four buildings that I could see from where I was. I don’t know if it was the presence of the holy spirit, but when I looked at one of them I saw it clearly… I was looking for the Initials D&S, but I had missed the building because what was written was its full name which I did not know at the time: Dignity and Shame, but when I looked this time , they were there- Dignity & Shame- I could clearly see the initials within the name. Finally, I knew where the office was”.

“Now that I knew where the office was I was determined… and I started to regularly spend my days outside the door talking to everybody who came into the building to know who was who, and slowly I got know everybody who worked there. And after a month when I knew everybody, I started to ask questions to know what was going on there. I contemplated and recollected information… I approached people and I had conversations while faking that I was entering and leaving the building and doing like I knew what was going on inside the office; and its like that I collected pieces of information for a while. And when I had all the information I needed, I looked at how to integrate by force. How did I do it?? When I discovered that the director was from Idjwi but the other bosses no, I made myself pass for an envoy of the director, as if he told to come here for job. I went to the door and I introduced myself to the security guard as an envoy of the chief, and since no one can contradict something that the boss says, he let me in… when I finally walked in… there was a formation, and so I entered directly into the training course”.

After a few months of learning security protocols, usage of technology, martial arts, and the other necessary skills for the job, Emery was ready to work as a security guard, but as it happens, the last day of the formation the director comes to meet all those who had completed the training before sending them to their respective posts. Emery told me that the chief ordered them to get all in line so he could introduce himself and also ask whom have recommended them for the job, one by one. As Emery clarified, this ‘recommendation system’ goes beyond what in western Europe we will qualify as nepotism, or in a very colonial manner- patrimonialism. Within network societies (including those in the white side of the world) who you know may play a more crucial role than who you are when applying for a job; and this system also works as a safety-net for the employer: you will get the job because you have been recommended by someone I trust, but if something goes wrong, this will have consequences for the middle-man unless he or she can solve the problem; thus creating a trust-merit system to allocate jobs. This is obviously way more complex than the few lines provided above, but an in-depth exploration of networking societies and ‘patrimonialism’ is another topic for another time.

Emery continued:

“But me, nobody had recommended me, in theory I should had introduced myself as someone recommended by himself… but I knew he was from my village so when he came and asked me- I could not say it was him obviously! so I changed the version and I said that it was his mum who recommended me AaH!!! [To which both of us explode laughing]… we were from the same village but apparently his mum didn’t know exactly what did his son do, sure, she knew he was a director and all that, but she didn’t know exactly where.. So he suspected of me and asked me to quit the line; after asking everybody else they told me to leave the building and to not come back. Then everybody knew that I was an intruder”

“ But, I didn’t stress, there was nothing else that I could do, so I still went outside the building every day while hiding from the boss whenever I saw him. But because I was not recommended, I had tried to create a friendship with everybody, and I was lucky, because the office was changing to a bigger building somewhere else in the same street. The man in charge of the logistics for rehabilitating the new office wanted to profit from the fact that I spent all my days there without nothing to do and offered me to work building the new office- that way he could save some of the money destined to hire people. He did not pay me, but I could work and he said he will put a good word for me.

After another month, and once the building was ready, the man in charge of the project had to show the new office to the boss before officially changing its location. Now, when the boss came to see the renewed office, the man, as it is costume, introduced him to the ones that did the job (remember the trust-merit job allocation system?), and as agreed he put a good word and made my case again; he said that: ‘we worked with this kid, he did a good job, he left the formation without problems when asked to.. and he already has completed the training’. There, the chef had a little pity for me and put me into the rotation system, a first step into the company by covering people and working only when needed; and it is like that how I started working as a security agent”.

Just pause for a second and think about the story I just told you: Emery quitted a job in his village to move to an unknown city in the hope of having a ‘maybe it pans out job’, looked for the hidden office for a week, found it, discovered that he was not wanted for the job, spent months collecting bits of information until he knew exactly when to walk into the building to start a several months training that he successfully completed. He got discovered and and kicked out, he persisted and risked to work for free as a constructor for another month trusting not only that a newly made acquaintance would put a good word for him, but also that it will work out. In the end, Emery’s determination paid off, for today he has long exited the rotation system to work as a full time security agent in Dignity and Shame. In fact, he is one of the few people that I know in Bukavu that has a job that provides a monthly salary.

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As incredible as I find Emery’s ‘long internship’ story, as noted in the very first quote, Emery’s mayor source of proudness is not working as a security guard, but obtaining his degree. In fact, as soon as he was done telling me about his raise as a security guard, without me having time to ask anything else, he said: " Now I will tell you how did I go to the university”. So let me tell you how he did manage with that one, for it is not nothing.

A failed business attempt, and a new path

The job paid relatively well, but working as a security guard was not enough for Emery, and so he decided to take on a little adventure by trying to establish a small business selling alcoholic drinks. The year is 2015, and over the few years that Emery worked as a security guard full time, he had managed to save 1000 dollars, and chance will have it, he had recently been in touch with some acquaintances that told him that in Salamavila, province of Maniema, there was a chance for him to be successful. So, once the placement in which he was working finished, instead of returning to the office to be assigned to the next post, he invested 800 dollars in local alcoholic drinks and to pay a driver to transport them and kept 200 as pocket money to live. Emery made his way to Salamanvila ahead of the transport to check out the place and stablish himself in the area. He arrived on the 7th of December and his idea was to make a first selling trip over the Christmas period with the hope of making enough returns for his next investment, which in turn will slowly allow him to expand the business to other locations.

The truck was supposed to arrive three days after him, however, he waited until the 16th of January- three weeks. Sadly, the truck had been in an accident due to the state of the roads, hence the wait; and since the drinks he had bought were all in glass bottles.. they were smashed to pieces and he lost most of the investment. He managed however to sell in large quantities those bottles that were still intact in order to recover as quickly as possible at least one third of the investment. And so, after its failed business attempt, he went back to Dignity and Shame the 4th of February by claiming to have been sick. Emery is a good worker and he had never missed a single shift before, so they happily took him back.

The failed attempt was not going to stop Emery from making the life he had envisioned from himself, and a different idea was already rounding his mind:

“I abandoned the idea of starting a business in my head, and I started to interiorise other ideas. I wanted to join the Army, I wanted to integrate in the FARDC, but I was blocked because I did not just want to join the accelerated formation, I wanted to do the military academy- it’s a university that forms the Congolese military in Kananga over a period of three years. But in February it had already started, so I had to wait until the next round of recruitments. I had to wait, and when I knew that my brother wanted to study university in the ISP Bukavu, I had to convince my mum that I could assist him. I had started having a salary and I could help him paying for all the university fees: the books, the library…and accommodation.. all together it was 900 dollars per year without the food. I decided to wait until he had at least his first 3 years diploma... I do not know how the system of university works in Belgium, but here there is two cycles, and obtaining the first one already opens the door for some jobs… So now I was blocked because I decided to pay for my brother’s university, and once he had already started I did not want to waist the invested money, so I had to wait until he finished the first cycle to be able to integrate in the military academy”

“Now, a problem appeared, he was studying and I was paying, so I asked myself: if he finishes university, becomes rich, and for bad luck he cannot help me who it has paid for it all - would I not cry? It is like that that I developed the idea of going to university myself while waiting for either him to finish, or until I ran out of money. So, I organised my working schedule, and I took only the night shifts, that way instead of 24 I worked 12 hours. I will work and study at night, and in the morning I will go to university. Normally, it was not the ISP where I should have done it, I wanted to go IOB to study law, but when I studied the parameters- I am a guardian in Muhumba, and the IOB is at the other side of the mountain, the classes start at 8am and finish at 7pm, so I could not arrive on time, nor combine it with the job, but the ISP is here nearby. When I analysed, where I worked its only 30 mins from the ISP, so it is like that that I decided not to do law in IOB, but instead I decided to study English in the ISP…. I wanted to do law because I love the subject, I like to see the things well done, because when we know the law, one knows how things can be done right- that’s why. But when I studied the parameters, I thought: what other things could I do? I chose English. I chose English because I always liked it, but also because it is a modern language here in our home, and it is something of prestige, plus I did not want to became a teacher, I had my ambitions to join the military academy and there is not a lot of people who know the English language in the army; I knew that the DRC has partnerships with anglophone institutions, like in the United Nations who uses a lot the English, so I started to see the little opportunities there, and it is like that I choose English- to represent my country among those institutions, that was the objective that pushed me to study English. I started one year after my brother”

Studying, working, helping, eating-ish, and hiding through it all

And so, since Emery had decided that he was going to pay university for his brother, why not using those waiting years to get a degree that could open more doors within his long term plans? Let me make this very clear. During 5 years Emery went to university from 8 am until 5 pm, and worked as a security guard, studied, and got the rest he could between 5.30 pm and 7.30 am- of course, using the 30 mins in between schedules to get from one place to another, sometimes literally running from one place to another. And this was not done without difficulties:

“At the beginning I thought that the affair will be impossible, but the money that I was saving after paying for my brother’s degree was not so much, so I thought it was better for us to grow together. When I started university I was afraid of failing economically or academically. I worked at night, and every day at university, and doing science in a serious way, I was scared of getting sick from working a lot, or because I could not give my best in class like the others… Another difficulty was the Musungu, the weekends were a Calvary for me, because they go out Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and because I was working I could not get enough rest or study. No offense to you, but I will pray for rain, rain so strong that the Musungu will stay home and I could rest without problems, or that they were sent in long field trips; the others could rest during their days off, I had to either work, rest or study”.

“Another difficulty was eating. Here in this house, we organise between ourselves and buy some bags of rice and flour, but in the house where I was living and working during most of the university years, people did not want to put money and cook together, they ate in their houses and brought a little something to eat during their shifts, but me who didn’t have a house, I lived in the house where I was working, I had problems because I will leave at 7.30 to arrive at university at 8, so I had to maximise my time to arrive on time. Specially I did not want people from university to know my work, I did not want to be an object of ridicule. Here, working as a security guard is not a good job, is the more simple of things, and we always hide what we are. That is why when I open the door, you always see me cover myself completely, and I change the way I walk and move, so the people outside the door cannot recognise me when I come out. I disguise myself by changing my mannerisms”

“And I did not want they to know especially at university, particularly the teachers, sometimes when we talk about jobs people diminish those that work in security, is a just a job for those who have nothing, we even talk about that in the auditoriums. So at university, those categorised as agents of security are those who fall asleep during class- the teacher will shout OH YOU SEE they are a security guard somewhere! so I had to do everything in my hands not to be pointed as a security, so people could not suspect me, but there was a problem when eating. Sometimes we had class all day without a break, especially when teachers come from the outside, because they want to finish their programme before leaving, so we do not have a break, only 5 minutes to use the toilet. Normally during the pause I will go buy something to eat at Nyawera, but in 5 minutes I cannot, and I did not want to be late for class in case I fall sick from working so much and I miss other classes, so If I don’t have money to pay for a moto-taxi and go buy something to eat I could go days without eating properly; sometimes I could buy a little bite at the entry of the ISP, but I needed to hide to eat, or they will suspect I am a security guard, I was embarrassed of eating, I would be bad seen by society because I am older than others too- those are the difficulties that I have found”

There were many more factors and forces that complicated his time working as a security guard. However, It was not all doom and gloom, Emery explained to me that working as a security guard also has its perks; not paying for accommodation allows him to save money, there is free internet in the house, and sometimes the Muzungu (White people) will add extra money to his salary for doing other jobs like doing the laundry, taking care of the garden, or washing their cars. Emery seemed to appreciate these extra-tasks since they could be done without difficulty while guarding the houses. This was complemented by a sense of proudness every time that the muzungus (white people) will give him a lift and drop him at university at the start of the day; as he remarked, it is often the other way around, so being driven around by muzungus on those fancy cars made him feel important. But, above all, and contrary to his classmates, he was particularly pleased with the fact that he could practise his English every day thanks to his job, not to mention that he had a stable source of income that allowed him not only to be one of the first ones paying for university fees, but also being able to organise his money-use ahead of time; stability and predictability were the two words used by Emery.

A soldier on the making

By the time I left Bukavu, Emery was planning on submitting his proposal for the military Academy. I will not dwell much on this, but when I asked Emery why he wanted to join the army he gave me three reasons: Unemployment, understanding what is really happening on the ground, and be able to contribute to the improvement of his country using his skills; here he stressed a particular causality chain: no war, more jobs, less unemployed people, better prospects for the future youth, less war. Make your own sense of these reasons, and his chain of thoughts, but I believe they go a long way on explaining why someone may wish to join the army in a conflict-zone beyond the normative tales that portray soldiers in Easter Congo as an greedy and evil force.

At the very moment in which I am writing this text, I am aware that he is on hold to see if he is going to be accepted in the military academy. If this does not work out, he has nearly saved enough money to start another business idea, and one way or another he hopes that his days as a security guard are coming to an end sooner than later.

The question that I think is crucial to ask here is: Why would someone with an stable source of income that pays relatively well (rather rare in Bukavu) will want to leave it all behind?

I may be able to answer this question. Keep reading.

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Prestige and Luxury, Dignity and Shame!

In case you haven’t suspected it, and for obvious reasons, I have made up the name of the security company for which Emery works: Dignity and Shame. This was however not a random choice, for if you have read carefully, you will have noticed that one way or another these two words, or at least what they evoke, repeat themselves over and over again throughout Emery’s journey. Think about it:

Emery left school because, on top of the teacher’s mistreating, one day he was ‘simply’ not given any meat - anger? Proudness? A sense of having had enough? A mix of all these things?... And although it took time, he enrolled back to school (to a different one that was even further away, thing that he did not appreciate) out of his own initiative because he felt: shame, boredom, and loneliness.

Importantly, Emery’s case is by no means unique, in fact, these things are quite usual among the protagonists of my interviews, and I could tell you other stories in which people whom basic needs where beyond covered ended up leaving home to voluntarily become street kids or even joining an armed group- out of boredom and surely the sense of having no-future life prospects commonly associated with this precise feeling. I must also say, that same thing applies in reverse: Three of the most amazing people I have meet in Bukavu, a journalist, a spoken word artist and a photographer (all three women by the way) have not only ended up doing incredible things, but also stressed to me their happiness, content and peace with themselves and the way their lives were going thanks to the presence of extracurricular activities shaping their hopes and dreams from an early age; and hence, giving them meaning and a sense of future. One could dare to say that in warscapes boredom often juxtaposes feeling self-realised, complete.

Back to emery. As a kid, he dreamed of being either a teacher or priest because paraphrasing his own words: ‘these were supreme authorities, positions of both luxury and prestige’. Similarly, while Emery choose English as his second best option rationally (not only accounting for the fact that he knew it could help with his long-term plans of joining the military academy, but also aware of all the possible connections he could make with muzungus by speaking the language) he stressed that he chose English because he always liked the language, but particularly for what it entails socially: being the exception. In fact, he stressed multiple times that the thing that he is most proud of in his life is to be able to represent his family by being a licensed, having a degree. Once again, and in his own words 'a thing of luxe and prestige'… Dignity? Respect? Social Capital? self-worth? All of the above?

Now, what I find the most revealing is Emery’s relationship with work. He left the parish, because he felt that he deserved better than 15 dollars for the hours he was putting in; young and ambitious- fair enough. But, why would someone, or rather one of the few people I have had the chance to meet in Bukavu, with a monthly salary that pays relatively well will want to quit his job? In fact, he did so twice. If you remember, at one point he risked loosing his job in dignity and shame by not going back to the office in order to start his own business. And now, he is trying enrol into the military academy, or start another business.

To me the answer is simple: A Better Life? Most likely. A feeling of self-realisation and Completeness- Sure thing.

Let me be clear on this one, although during the entire 4 years that his university adventure lasted, Emery was working as a security guard and studying 24/7/365, building his own future while also helping economically his entire family and saving money for future projects…. But instead of proudness: what any human being should feel by doing so... he felt shame! Shame because it was doing so as a security guard, ‘the most simpler of things’ he said, and hence looked down to and laughed at.

The collective shaming that comes with being a security guard made him hide in order to eat at university (at the risk of going days without a proper meal). And I have seen him countless times to hide himself by ‘covering his face and changing his mannerisms’ (his own words) when he opened the door of the house where I lived at in order to avoid recognition by acquaintances.

My point being that, feelings such as dignity and shame are powerful forces shaping people behavior's, warscapes or not. And if we are to understand why people do what they do in conflict zones, and hence how their actions may affect the course of the conflict itself, we ought to start taking their feelings, subjective ideas of self- realisation, and how they conceptualise living a life worth living seriously.